Counselling for Daily Life: Intimacy and Valentine’s Day

Increasing Intimacy

Counselling for Daily Life: Intimacy and Valentine’s Day

With Valentine’s Day approaching, love, intimacy, sexual connection, romance, are some of the experiential states of being that can hover in the air.  Dreams, hopes, imaginings of wondrous connections between yourself and another may, amidst the commercial baggage around the 14th February, beckon and tantalise.  Or maybe not, Valentine’s Day may seem simply too trite or passe….

But let’s take this upcoming day in honour of lovers as a springboard for contemplation about what we may really want in our intimate connections with a partner.   The Thesaurus has words for intimacy such as closeness, tenderness,  being cherished, warmth….what does it mean for you?  How could you invoke this state of being more richly into your most personal relationship?  How could you cultivate it more in your sexual sharings together, so that they are truly fulfilling, and so that they feel they are deepening and revitalising the rest of your relating together?

I feel it is beneficial for all of us to both look deeply into what we truly want and also to look out and broaden our education about what could be possible.  From my experiencing, some of teachings of Tantra can help us here, especially as taught by Diane and Kerry Riley of the Australian School of Tantra.

In my couple’s sessions, “Increasing Intimacy,”        I draw on some of the Australian School of Tantra’s teachings and gentle practices to help couples explore more heartfelt sexual connection in their relationships.  Couples discover ways to feel more connected to their own individual selves in body, heart and soul and how to feel more connected to each other in body, heart and soul.  We also explore communication tools that can enhance the possibility of intimacy both in and outside the bedroom.

It often seems that these sessions are received by the couples as a gift to their relationship.  Something in them lifts, something in them reaches out to connect more with one another, something in them seems to feel more met and interconnected.  And the tips and teachings from Tantra offer the couples fresh, inspiring practices to move forward with their intimacy, and to integrate them into their lives.

This sense, of these Increasing Intimacy sessions being like a true gift to a relationship, is why I am speaking of them now, as we approach Valentine’s Day.  I am both writing about intimacy as an offering, for you too to contemplate this state of being, and also to possibly plant a seed of wondering in you about coming with your partner to experience an “Increasing Intimacy” session yourselves.  My hope is that, if you do, you will find a new, magical way to celebrate the love between you.  That seems to me to fit into a sincere feeling of what Valentine’s Day can be about.


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